Difference between 19th and 21st century men

The Difference between Men in the

19th Century and Today

By; Nia Beals

    

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       How men interacted with each other in the 19^th century compared to how men interact today is drastically different. The way men acted together during this time may be considered gay to today´s culture. The men of the 19^th century did not see a problem with sleeping in the same bed as another man. For example, the former president, Abraham Lincoln openly admitted to sharing a bed with his best friend Joshua Speed for over four years[1]. This was not an unusual thing for this time period, however if two men were to sleep in the same bed today society would label them as gay even if they were not. Males in the 21^st century think sharing a bed would damage there masculinity. Today´s men think they always have to be “hard” with their friends. Also, men think that if they do anything that can be perceived as sensitive that their friends will think that they are gay, because gay men are stereotyped as being sensitive.

          Another way the men of the 19^th century interacted differently than the men of the 21^st century is the way they spoke to each other. The men of the 19^th century saw absolutely nothing wrong with calling another man “beloved” nor did they see a problem with telling each other that loved and missed them. This may seem extremely weird to our society, because men in the 21^st century normally do not tell their male friends that they love them on a daily basis. An example of a person that did not see a problem with speaking to his friends on such a loving level was James A. Garfield, whom was also a former president.  James A. Garfield wrote letters to his best friend referring to him as “Harry dear” and telling him how much he loved and missed him in every aspect of his life. The most alarming part of the letter was how Garfield told his best friend that he “wanted to hold him all night” which in other words is cuddling[2]. This type of communication would be a huge red flag for the macho men of the 21^st century. No man, claiming to be straight in the 21^st century, would tell their best friend how much they wanted to cuddle them in a serious manner without being perceived as gay.

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[1] Gritz, Jennie. theatlantic.com, "But Were They Gay? The Mystery of Same-Sex Love in the 19th Century." Last modified September 2012. Accessed February 26, 2014. http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/09/but-were-they-gay-the-mystery-of-same-sex-love-in-the-19th-century/262117/.

[2] Gritz, Jennie. theatlantic.com, "But Were They Gay? The Mystery of Same-Sex Love in the 19th Century." Last modified September 2012. Accessed February 26, 2014. http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/09/but-were-they-gay-the-mystery-of-same-sex-love-in-the-19th-century/262117/.